Let’s just cut corners, shall we? A silly list of questions and thoughts to ponder. Post Cancel.
Perhaps yours is watching television.”“The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!”“I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.”“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”“Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.”“We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.”“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”“My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.”“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. You will never get out of it alive.”“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. Now quiet!
I just want to say to the authors of that study: ‘Duh. "While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats."
Then quit.
ADVERTISEMENT Instead of play date, nap date! A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.”“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”“You have enemies? Who am I kidding, I’d eat it anyhow. Instantly.”“A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”“Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female.”“As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.”“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.”“The cure for boredom is curiosity.
I realize I should spend much less time watching the news, and more time laughing.Thanks for the great selection of quotes, I needed to find my sense of humor after losing it.“[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you: he really is an idiot.” ~ Groucho MarxThank you so much for all the jokes! Relief. You may die of a misprint.”“Clothes make the man.
Damn, I forgot to go to the gym today. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. "Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year." Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'" LMA Community member. Best 23 Thought for the Day on images Learn inspiring and motivating list of quotes to make up your day.
An unhelpful advice column.
"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funnybone." "Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else." Find images and videos about black, funny and text on We Heart It - the app to get lost in what you love.25 Funny Snappy Quotes That Bring the Realness Mmm. ADVERTISEMENT Love you, waffles! ADVERTISEMENT Bye.
"The public is wonderfully tolerant. Fortunately, I love money.”“Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.”“When we talk to God, we’re praying. Robert Frost "The brain a wonderful organ. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. Page 1 … "Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."
). There are also thoughts about things like monday is longer than all the other days of the week.
813K likes. Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Just like everyone else.”“Age is an issue of mind over matter.
That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work.
You will find thoughts like maybe instead of two day weekends should be five days of the week. Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed? You made my day!